Perspective. Got stuck in the lone checkout line at Safeway behind a woman buying groceries with her EBT card (food stamps). She had her teenaged son with her and a huge stack of coupons. I’ve been having a frustrating week. I was wearing coat and tie and probably had a grumpy look on my face when I arrived. The woman working the register kept looking at me apologetically as time went on and the line grew.
The shopper had a coupon for almost every item. She went through that stack of coupons four times slowly because she was missing one. I think she had coupons for apples, soup, pasta, rice, beans, and bread. She was missing a 60 cent coupon for her two cartons of almond milk. She had a list and had calculated to the penny what she could buy, had $70 on her EBT card and $20 or so on a check she had written but she was $1.20 short to finalize the purchase.
I was tempted to pass the woman two bucks but she was already starting to radiate with awkward embarrassment. Her son stood behind her and stared at the floor. Finally the shopper asked the register worker if there was any way she could look through the weekly flier and find the coupon she needed and the worker started paging through it for her.
My irritation dissipated the longer I stood there. Its been a long time since I agonized over $1.20 for food. I’ve never had to do it with a crowd behind me. I could see the time and care she had put into her shopping trip, calculating the cost, clipping coupons, buying cheap healthy food.
I relaxed. I smiled. The coupon was finally found and the sale made. The register worker kept thanking me for my patience. I suppose these days most folks expect a certain amount of eye-rolling and grimacing when a customer is inconvenienced for a few minutes. We’re very busy people.
By Monday the shutdown will have cost me enough from a plane ticket change fee and a lost weekend of National Guard wages that it will sting. But I won’t miss a meal, or even skimp. I won’t miss a mortgage payment. I won’t fear for my phone or electricity being shut off. I have friends that may. I’m grateful for all that America has given me. I’m glad my wife has a good-paying job.
Not everyone is so lucky. We have young National Guard soldiers here in Washington State that rely on their drill pay for food and lodging and on military tuition assistance to pay for college. They won’t be getting either due to the shutdown. Each of them volunteered to serve in their nation’s military during time of war, uncertain of the cost.
This will likely, hopefully, be resolved before my young soldiers or friends in federal service even have time to apply for food stamps or unemployment. But not, perhaps, before a few missed payments, missed meals, and sleepless nights. It bothers me to see them treated this way.
The Legislative Branch of our government has its work cut out for it. I’d like to see them take up that task with the same zeal, teamwork and selfless sense of service to nation and community I see in the young soldiers and law enforcement officers that work for me. I’d like that a great deal.
All I did. The best I did today, was to stand patiently in line behind someone less fortunate than myself and not act like a complete ass. The woman at the register seemed appreciative. Almost like she expected me to be annoyed. Is this what we’ve come to? Is this what people expect?
Patience. Compassion. Persistence. Teamwork. I expect these attributes of my most junior employees. I expect them of myself. I expect them of my government.
The shopper had a coupon for almost every item. She went through that stack of coupons four times slowly because she was missing one. I think she had coupons for apples, soup, pasta, rice, beans, and bread. She was missing a 60 cent coupon for her two cartons of almond milk. She had a list and had calculated to the penny what she could buy, had $70 on her EBT card and $20 or so on a check she had written but she was $1.20 short to finalize the purchase.
I was tempted to pass the woman two bucks but she was already starting to radiate with awkward embarrassment. Her son stood behind her and stared at the floor. Finally the shopper asked the register worker if there was any way she could look through the weekly flier and find the coupon she needed and the worker started paging through it for her.
My irritation dissipated the longer I stood there. Its been a long time since I agonized over $1.20 for food. I’ve never had to do it with a crowd behind me. I could see the time and care she had put into her shopping trip, calculating the cost, clipping coupons, buying cheap healthy food.
I relaxed. I smiled. The coupon was finally found and the sale made. The register worker kept thanking me for my patience. I suppose these days most folks expect a certain amount of eye-rolling and grimacing when a customer is inconvenienced for a few minutes. We’re very busy people.
By Monday the shutdown will have cost me enough from a plane ticket change fee and a lost weekend of National Guard wages that it will sting. But I won’t miss a meal, or even skimp. I won’t miss a mortgage payment. I won’t fear for my phone or electricity being shut off. I have friends that may. I’m grateful for all that America has given me. I’m glad my wife has a good-paying job.
Not everyone is so lucky. We have young National Guard soldiers here in Washington State that rely on their drill pay for food and lodging and on military tuition assistance to pay for college. They won’t be getting either due to the shutdown. Each of them volunteered to serve in their nation’s military during time of war, uncertain of the cost.
This will likely, hopefully, be resolved before my young soldiers or friends in federal service even have time to apply for food stamps or unemployment. But not, perhaps, before a few missed payments, missed meals, and sleepless nights. It bothers me to see them treated this way.
The Legislative Branch of our government has its work cut out for it. I’d like to see them take up that task with the same zeal, teamwork and selfless sense of service to nation and community I see in the young soldiers and law enforcement officers that work for me. I’d like that a great deal.
All I did. The best I did today, was to stand patiently in line behind someone less fortunate than myself and not act like a complete ass. The woman at the register seemed appreciative. Almost like she expected me to be annoyed. Is this what we’ve come to? Is this what people expect?
Patience. Compassion. Persistence. Teamwork. I expect these attributes of my most junior employees. I expect them of myself. I expect them of my government.
~Gabe
8 comments:
Gabe, I read your piece on Facebook & am glad you posted it here. I am sharing it liberally via email.
HI Gabe
From an Australian point of view we quite frankly cannot see what the fuss about health care is about. We have it and the sky hasn't fallen in yet. I do hope that the impasse is solved soon for your people and that the government is not forced to back down.
We all need to show compassion to those less fortunate at all times, not just in your shutdown. I have been in almost the situation of that poor lady that you allowed to shop with dignity and I can tell you it isn't fun. So thank you for this message and good luck to all America. Best wishes from Australia
Thanks folks. It just started out as a Facebook status update and people asked me to put it on the web somewhere they could link to it so I resurrected this old blog I never used.
Its been gratifying to see how people respond to it.
Compassion and kindness - wish we could shower the entire world with these. We are all connected to one another. Let's be good to one another. Excellent post reminding us of this. Thank you, Gabe.
thank you for writing this. i am a legal aid attorney in MI. this woman could be any of my clients. the states administer food stamp, cash assistance, medicaid, low-income housing, etc, and the federal gov't funds such programs. these programs will cease w/o a budget in place. we are bracing for the backlash come nov 1, and i heard yesterday that MI dept/human services rolled out roughly 100,000 negative action notices -- my clients will be cut off of food stamps, cash assistance and medicaid and their housing vouchers will go unpaid. it is breathtaking how immediate and dire the consequences will be for people in poverty. to hear callers on c-span say that this shut down doesn't affect them, so why should they care, makes me shake my head in wonder at how we have become such a selfish, uncaring nation.
BRAVO!!! Someone who gets it! I worked retail for years and yes, if someone has to wait longer than they want to, not even "need", but want to, they get pretty annoyed! Thank you for being such a good person and understanding what this woman was going through. That coupon and all of her coupons meant a lot to the week's, maybe 2 weeks, nutrition of her family!
There are a lot of folks working the coupon experience today and I too was behind such a shopper in CVS last week. When the checker apologized to me, I just smiled and told the truth: I was not in a hurry. The coupon lady had a 10 year old with her who watched with attention and support. I loved your detailed, respectful account. Thanks
I've been really gratified at the response to this essay. In the next day or two I will publish a short follow up. It and the original will both be at my new blog http://www.hardstripes.com/
Thanks,
~Gabe
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